Thursday, March 6, 2014

Anime: Pupa

Oh dear lord.

This is going to be a very different review. I don't usually think you can review something that you haven't finished, because you don't know all it's parts and thus cannot critically analyze it. However, I doubt what I do is critically analysis anyway and this show if fucking abysmal and doesn't deserve to be finished. Plus, I'm pretty sure nothing it did after the stuff I saw could possibly save it. At all. It's a a piece of shit... no, wait. Shit has more usage than this show. You can use it as fertilizer. This show is an old rusted car part, it serves no purpose other than looking grungy.

A little backstory. I wasn't going to watch this, and I'm glad I didn't until now. However, today was the day I go to anime club. I'm not a college member but apparently it's okay to join anyway. Recently most people have been busy, so few showed up. About half-way through, me and a couple other guys were the only ones left so we just decided to watch whatever, rather than what was planned. I'm seriously questioning these people, as they chose to show me Pupa. They were like "you should totally watch this!" and I was like "no I shouldn't". But they showed me 4 episodes of it anyway. Why god, why?

So, the first thing to note about this crap is how horribly disjointed it is. It feels like they took something that was supposed to be 20 minutes long and chopped it up into pieces that were 4 minutes long. It starts off immediately and we see a guy with a weird scar thing on his face and marks on his arm and this is just normal apparently. He apparently has a sister. Then she dies because she got near a dog that was a monster? Then she explodes, but now she's a demon? And then she kills her brother... but he's not dead, and this weird scientist(?) lady talks to him about a virus called Pupa. And before that there was a scene where she was in a city, and her brother was there, and then... she... ate parts of him in a bathroom stall?! That's as far as we got.

The next thing to note is this show makes no god damn sense. And not in the "whoa! I can't wait to find out what's going on here!" way, but in the "what the fuck am I watching?!" kind of way. I cannot make heads or tails out of what's going on because it's so disjointed and things happen all at once with no explanation and feel incredibly random. It's clearly meant to be that way to fool stupid people into thinking it's cool and deep. There seems to be plenty of faux symbolism being thrown around, as I spotted several butterflies and on a screen there was real footage of a guy cutting a fish.

That's another thing. My god is this edgy forced grimdark try-hard bullshit. All this blood, gore, fake symbolism, crazy nonsense, confusion, and probably even it's runtime makes it seem like it's trying to be "cutting edge" and "outside the box". It's experimental, see! Regular narrative structure is soooo mainstream! Sense is also way too mainstream. We're cool, we don't need to have cohesion, structure, or building investment in characters. And you know we're hardcore because it's about child abuse and has lots of blood and gore, and also INCEST! Fuck me, the brother/sister incest. Why is this a thing!? It was bad enough when it ruined OreImo(again, I should have seen that coming), but it had to make this thing EVEN WORSE?!

I just, I cannot properly explain how awful this is. Watch one episode, just ONE, and you'll understand. It should go without saying that Mars of Destruction is no longer the worst anime I've ever seen. This certainly is laughably bad, but not in a fun way. In an "Hahaha... what is my life?" way. Fuck those guys who made me watch it, fuck Studio Deen, and fuck the author of the manga. I just, I cannot properly explain how awful this is.  Fuck.

0/5


Saturday, March 1, 2014

Subs: 20th Century Boys 2(Region 3 DVD)

Right, so this is gonna be a little different. Rather than reviewing a movie, I'm going to review it's subtitles. But first! Some backstory:

When I bought the second film in the 20th Century Boys series(best movie series evar 11/10!), I did not get the Region 1 Viz Pictures copy that it was listed as... I got a one meant for the non-chinese asian countries. I do not know why, no. The video is noticeably lower quality as it appears more blurry on my laptop. No difference on my SD TV though, so no big deal. What is a big deal is the shit-tastic subs. It comes with English subs but they clearly didn't care because most people there don't speak English. It also comes with Malay and Chinese subs but I wouldn't be surprised if those sucked too.

Allow me to tell you about how much these suck.

Translation: 
The translation isn't that bad, but it's not all that good either.

For example, the word "akuma" is always translated as "satanic". Akuma can certainly mean that but most use it as "demonic" or "evil" depending on the context. I feel those would work better here. There are also a few weird lines that just don't make sense. Like this one!

Sorry I will not too much no times more.

I'd love to know the process this line must have went through, starting off as "Please do not play that so loud, it is too much" or something.

It's fairly obvious that whoever did these subtitles had a limited knowledge of english. Luckily, it's not TOO bad, and with my limited knowledge of Japanese I can usually guess what they're actually saying based off of words in the sentence and what the subtitles read as if it doesn't seem right. It's not bablefish at least!

Missing Subs:

Oh boy. Well, what is really bad is the places where there are just no subs.

Kanna is talking right now. There are no subs. WHY?!

Whole lines will just not be there, or two or three lines will be translated as one simplified one. I prefer that because at least then I know what they're saying. My limited knowledge of japanese isn't enough to tell what they're saying half 75% of the time, but it usually doesn't impede my understanding of the story all that much. It's really annoying and I wish I knew what they were saying, dammit! It's really damn shoddy and it makes me feel like they were either lazy, didn't know enough english, or both. This is just plain sad. Sometimes, btw way, whole people's line will get cut if they didn't say all that much. Makes it even worse.

Timing:

In addition to missing lines, many, many, MANY, lines will be be shown at the wrong times. Either too early,

There's about a second or so before the old lady who said this actually says it.

Or too late.

  Oh yeah, I'm sure that bike noise translated to "Kerosene?".

That line above came about 10 seconds(rough estimate) after the woman said it. There are lots of instances like that. People will talk and there will be no subs and then cut to another scene and BAM subs. Like I said, that's if they show up at all. It's wholly annoying and it just seems so strange. How did this kind of thing happen? Well, I'm sure they just didn't care because it was the English subs.

I should really get a copy of the Region 1 DVD.

I give these subs 2/5 bikes saying "Kerosene?". They aren't translated horribly and I still know what's going on, but god damn are they bad. Who made these things? Aliens perhaps? I'll go ask them.

Ah-men, so-men, hiya-somen. Ah-men, so-men, hiya-somen.
(is this the proper transliteration? That's what the subtitles say)

EDIT: Oh, yeah, this a bootleg.