Tuesday, October 15, 2013

OVA: Mars of Destruction

Here you go:

Then,

and then





Okay, so, I should probably actually review it.

Basically, everything about this is terrible. I mean, it's hilariously so, but also just plain stupidly so.

The story is complete crap. Some alien shit fell from a mars expedition ship after it blew up, and caused some people to mutate into monsters called "ancients". They're called ancients because they're actually the original inhabitants of Earth, and we humans are invaders from mars who took over a long time ago. Doesn't really explain how this whole thing with the mutations works though. But that's the twist at the end, before that we get some "backstory" about how the hero who's named escapes me was forced by his dad to put on a suit called a MARS to fight the ancients. This is interspersed with "action" scenes that have at least one person get killed horribly before hero guy kills the monsters. We get a scene where some doctors finally finished analyzing the debris and found out some shit about human DNA on mars, and then big bad monster says "you are the demons" and they shoot him, the end. It's 19 minutes of "Oh wow, that's terrible, hahaha!".

The characters are awful too, and can't even be called 1-note or 2 dimensional. All female task squad members are identified by their hair color, and the hero by his designation as reluctant protagonist. One does get her head blown off, and it was pretty funny. They even took her to the hospital to see if she'd be okay.

The sound is not good. The voice work is meh, but all the music is stock music. It's all classical music too, and a few of them don't fit at all.

The animation is very poor. The designs are meh, and the actual movement is stiff and stilted. All in all it's lousy, and kinda funnily so.

On the whole, this is really bad. I mean, really, really bad. It's really hard to describe, but it's highly inept. It seems like it was written by a child, or someone with the mental age of one. It's just a mess of crap. It's so bad, in fact, that it might just be good. At the very least it's hilarious. It's terrible, but so much it makes you laugh. Even when I was facepalming afterwards, I was still smiling. You should really watch it.

I give it 1/5.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

It Should Be Noted

It should be noted that I am just barely objective in my evaluations. That's because I don't think one can be truly objective. Two people can be objective about something and come up with different opinions, meaning they weren't really objective. To be objective about something subjective(I.E. anything you can form an opinion on), means that you have to not judge it at all. You would merely state it contents. So called "objective qualities" for things like films and books are really subjective qualities that have been agreed upon as being important to evaluation and quality. While I sometimes take these qualities into account, I mostly rate things based on how much I enjoyed it. Though, if these things are bad, it will likely make me dislike whatever it is. For example, Guilty Crown's story and characters were very poor, so I stopped watching it. I only give it a 3/5 because it's designs, visuals, and music were all pretty good.

It should be noted that I don't really know what I'm talking about. No-one every really knows what they're talking about, but I especially don't. If you agree with me, fine, but be aware I'm not a professional critic, I don't think all that deeply about a something's quality, and I don't claim to have all the answers.

It should be noted that while I'd say I'm pretty good at thinking critically, I'm much better at explaining why I don't like something than why I do. When I like something I can easily rattle off various reasons, but I can't do that without going into details that likely give away plot points(luckily, mostly plotless games are exempt). I can however, tell you exactly why I don't like something, why I think it didn't work, and what I thought was bad about it. When I like something, I have little to say about it that isn't gushing, and the stuff that isn't is too in-depth for a spoiler-free review. But, when I hate something, I can not only explain elements I think didn't work, but I can also explain points of the plot that sucked because I don't care about spoiling things that I think suck. All in all, it's easy for me to explain my views on something if I go through it step by step.

It should be noted that I probably have bad taste. Who knows? Like I said, it's all subjective.

It should be noted that I think no-one is right, and everyone is wrong. Myself included.

Little late for this, isn't it?